What Parenting Taught Me about Leadership

Thomas F. Fischer, M.Div., M.S.A. 
(and Parent)

Number 66

1. Prayer is my best defense and offense. Sometimes it's my only hope. But that's OK. God answers prayer. Parenting proves it!
   
2. No rules, they rebel; too many rules, they rebel. Have rules anyway but enforce them appropriately.
   
3. Don't be such a control freak.
   
4. Relax. Everything's going to be all right.
   
5. Discipline is always a direct function of love.
   
6. They don’t think I’m as smart as I do. But then again, maybe I’m not that smart.
   
7. If you don’t trust them, you’ll never find out if they can be trusted.
   
8. Experience, in their perception, doesn’t always matter. That’s OK. Experience will teach them it does.
   
9. My perspective is more complex than theirs. Sometimes, if I loosen up, I can understand their simple perspective.
   
10. Just because I understand the potential consequences more clearly doesn’t mean I shouldn’t let them try.
    
11. The only thing they understand is simplicity. Therefore I will live by a new motto: simplify, simplify, simplify.
    
12. Sometimes I have to avoid picking up the clutter so that they can see that they need to pick it up. Though I can do it better, faster, and more effectively by myself, I don’t, I won’t, and I can’t. It’s their responsibility.
    
13. Conflict is expected and inevitable. But, after all is said and done, it strengthens the relationship.
    
14. Making mistakes—even big mistakes—is just part of growth. So, let them make appropriate mistakes. Afterwards, encourage and help them learn from their mistakes.
    
15. The greatest wisdom comes from making the greatest mistakes.
    
16. Not everyone will like me because of my child. It doesn’t matter. My child is a child of God. That’s all that matters.
    
17. Unfortunately, kids don’t come with remote controls. Fortunately, neither do I. Sometimes they think I do. At those times I must remind them that I don’t.
    
18. I can’t treat every child alike. They’re just too different! Learn to love and celebrate the differences.
    
19. Since I can’t always control the end result; the best I can do is instill values and motivate achievement. The rest is up to them…and God.
    
20. Though it wasn’t what I wanted, I will celebrate how my children reinvented my original idea…even if I didn’t always understand it.
    
21. I usually let the kids think it was really their idea.
    
22. I can distinguish between the essential and the small stuff. I don’t sweat the small stuff. The essentials I deal with the best I can. The rest I leave to God. (It's funny, seems the older the children get, the more I leave to God! That's OK, too. I have a really BIG God!)
    
23. Parenting is the most joyful and painful thing a person can do.
    
24. Follow-through and accountability are essential development tools for children..
    
25. Children need a parent to lead—even though they may not want or like one. Lead anyway.
    
26. God always comes through. Boy, does He ever!!!
    
27. Consensus and agreement aren’t always possible.
    
28. Sometimes you got to go against the flow, take a chance, and stand up to the opposition.
    
29. Trust your intuition…especially when they refuse to give you the facts.
    
30. Be able to change plans on the fly because even the best plans can go awry.
    
31. Don’t worry about how stupid, dumb, or incompetent you look. You cant’ change their perception of you anyway. If you think you can, then you're really stupid, dumb, and ....
    
32. Sometimes I'm wrong, even when I think I'm right. Eat crow, ask forgiveness and move on.
    
33. Sometimes the best things that happen are the things I don’t know about. In fact, sometimes the greatest moments of parenting were moments of ignorance.
    
34. As long as I’m a parent, I’ll never stop learning about me, about my family, and about God's faithfulness, strength, and leading in my life and those in my family.
    
35. God's greatest blessings come through the people that He has placed closest to me.

Thomas F. Fischer

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